Monday, June 16, 2014

Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons ...

Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons ...: Life's Greatest Lessons s Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/J... : Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflecti...



1.  It's important to be able to laugh at ourselves.  We  "have" all done stupid, klutzy, harebrained things.  We are going to do a lot more of them.  People who know how to laugh at themselves will always be entertained.



2.  We have choices!  Some people never realize that fact.  People make excuses for not taking advantage of life's opportunities.  We live by choices, not by chance.  "Don't make excuses, make improvements" is a poster I put on my classroom wall.  The other poster is "You are responsible for your own actions".



3.  Attitude is choice.  How one thinks about events is far more important than the events themselves.  We can direct our thoughts to work for us or work against us.



4.  It's easy to take people, things, and freedom for granted, especially if we have never been without them.  We sometimes complain about little things other people would be happy about.



5.  Goals are dreams with deadlines!  Living without goals is like going on a trip without a destination.  If you don't know where you're going you probably end up nowhere, and "any" road will get you there.




Thursday, June 12, 2014

Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/J...

Life's Greatest Lessons : Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/J...: Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/Journaling - : Please post 5 total entries regarding our chapter readings by clicking o...





Chapter 1 reflections not really related to money, but
rather success.


,=John Gardner’s quote on p.6 and discussion on p.7 “too
many of us never fully develop because of influences in our environment”…I full
heartedly agree with that.


?=What is my potential? 
Take action by praying to God for direction.


!=Tim Hansel’s positive quote on p.7.  I love the LOOK INSIDE/discover good/realize
potential questions he posed to students. 
This is something I need to work on regularly.


 


Chapter 2


,=problems=opportunities. 
Welcome them as tests of your character. 
Hmm…


?=not really a question…curious…would like to read Tim
Hansel’s book, You Gotta Keep Dancin’. 
He had the positive quote from Chapter 1 (good news, regardless of your
age, 90% untapped) and now referenced “Pain is inevitable, but misery is
optional”.  I think it will be a very
inspirational read.


!=Everyday courage discussion.  Winston Churchill’s quote on p.14 and
discussion on pp.14-15 “depends not on conditions, but on decisions”; “no one
is born with it”, etc. made me reflect on great contributors to our society
regardless of background, etc.  They
certainly are/were resilient, goal setters, hard workers, etc.


Chapter 3


,=PRACTICAL jokes are a way to stay alive; they are
essential. (p.26) Discoveries come through play. (Einstein, p.23)  We know this as children; why do we forget
this as we age?


?=not really a question…curious…would like to rent the movie
“A Thousand Clown”.  I’ve seen “Zorba the
Greek” and I can really identify with Boss. 
I need to work on taking myself less seriously.


!=The need to be reflective…once again, look inside:  “How much fun am I having in my life?  How much fun am I for other people to be
with?”  (p.21)  “To get those laughs, I need to look for
them.” (p.20)  My grandma (my mom’s mom),
even in her 90’s was one of the funniest people I’ve ever known.  My mom, who is currently 81, searches for
fun/humor.  A simple thing she does is
reads the “funnies” everyday.  She cuts
out comic strips, labels them with family/friends’ names and sends them to the
respective people.  


!=Edison & cot rests, notebooks w/jokes, etc.
(pp.22-23)  “People who laugh
together…work more effectively.”  How
important this is for our students in our classrooms and also for our staff(s)
within our school & district!


 


 


Chapter 4


,=difference between animals and humans is free will.  “If we don’t exercise our ability to choose,
we are no better off.” (p.31)  We are
“surviving, not living; simply existing.”


?=What is the best way to stop living the “have-to”
lifestyle?  I know I don’t have to do
anything.  Hal Urban suggests looking at
every day of your life…see the choices, not the have to’s.  I know no one can take choice/my free will
away from me.  I also know “We’re the
results of our choices.” (pp.32-33)


!=”We live by choice, not by chance.”  I need to emphasize the thinking portion of
this.  It is about “what we choose to
think…what we choose to do.” (p.32)  The
thinking part influences my actions. 


=”Do we have to…?”  vs. “Do we get to…?”  “We don’t have to live.  We get to live.” (p.34)  This thinking can influence our personal and
professional lives greatly!  Be sure to
share with students!


Chapter 5


,=Frankl’s quote, “…can become
the victim of circumstances or we can be victorious over them.”   “The key is knowing that what we become is
the effect of an inner decision.” (p.39)


?=not really a
question…curious…would like to read Shad Helmstetter’s book What to Say When
You Talk to Yourself
. (p.42)  I need
to retrain my brain.


!=Major findings:  “85% of our success in life is due to
attitude; other 15% is due to ability.” 
“We can direct our thoughts to work for us or to work against us.  They can be our best friends or our worst
enemies.” (p.41)


!=”An open mind is an
attitude.  It means you don’t think you
already know everything.” (p.43)  “…not
equal to an empty head.”  “The purpose of
an education isn’t to fill our minds but to open them.  The more knowledge we have, the more we
realize how much we don’t know.” (p.44)


!=”Positive thinking is not just
wishful thinking.  “…accompanied with
genuine belief.”  “People who succeed in
life don’t think they can; they believe they can.” (p.45)


!=”Constructive thinkers…train
themselves to choose thoughts which build character and lead to personal
achievement.” (p.46)


Chapter 6


,=definition of habit as a
garment (like a nun)…I’m not Catholic…never thought of it this way.  “Wear our habits daily; acquired; not born
with them; learn them; develop over time; and reinforced by repetition.” (p.48)


,=Example of Benjamin Franklin,
his list of 13 qualities he wanted to have, put in order of importance, and his
tally system…”made him realize that he had more faults than he’d originally
thought, but the experiment had also given him great satisfaction in seeing their
replacements take over.”  (pp.51-52)  What would my 13 qualities be?


?=What specific bad habits would
I like to work at replacing?  Using the
name of God in vain.  Using the term
“pissed”.  I know these are offensive to
others.  I have a broader vocabulary that
I can pull from for replacements.  Now I
need to make it a priority.


!=I know that “we become slaves
to our habits” and that they “work either for us or against us”. (p.48)  The quote, “Unfortunately, our bad habits get
most of the attention, which only reinforces them.  We need to change our focus to the positive
side of habits and put more energy into building good ones.” really hit home
with me.  As a special educator I deal
with positive reinforcers vs. negative reinforcers regularly.  More time needs to be spent proactively.


!=I’ve read Stephen Covey’s book,
The 7 Habits of Effective People. 
His reflection of “When our country was still new, we concentrated on
teaching young people the Character Ethic. 
But we moved away from it as people looked for quicker ways to acquire
material wealth.”  “The Character Ethic
taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can
only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate
these principles into their basic character.” (p.53)  How true and how sad regarding our
agricultural society (We once shared equipment, helped others, and took pride
in others’ successes.) and our educational unit (We once emphasized respect,
good citizenship, contributing member of society as a whole.).  The need to return to good character building
is evident all around us!


!=The continual positive (yet
challenging) theme of THINK…not born with it…learned…choice…can change…desire
and practice/repetition is resonating within.


Chapter 7


,=My parents taught me to always
offer prayers of thanksgiving first.  I
never thought of it as the author did. (p.58)


,=”Unfortunately, we need to
experience firsthand how the rest of the world lives in order to fully
understand how truly blessed we are.” (p.59) 
How true…mission trips and family trips to Mexico, Jamaica, etc. really
have been eye-openers for all involved. 
The part about seeing “how thankful and joyful these (‘less fortunate’)
people are for what little they do have” is also so true.


?=”Thanking others seems to be a
dying art.” (p.60)  Why is the attitude
of entitlement growing?  What can I do as
a mother and as a teacher to model and encourage genuine appreciation and
direct thankfulness?


?=”When someone dies, everyone
else seems to have something good to say,…” 
Why do we wait until people pass? 
Again, I need to think and do differently.  It will be a win-win for all involved.


!=Awesome activities (pp.56-58,
p.61 & pp.62-63)!  I need to do them personally,
with my family, with “our” students, and/or with our staff.


!=When reading this chapter
(re:  p.61 especially), names of specific
staff members from Janssen crept into my mind. 
They had ways of lifting my spirits, teaching me things, bringing out
the best in me, and making me feel better. 
I’ve always referred to these types of people as “old souls”.  I need to reach out to them more directly and
thank them.  I’ve always been pretty good
at writing thanks yous, but these people warrant face-to-face
affirmations.  In addition, a pastor at
our Lutheran church went out of his way to invite my husband (a Catholic) to
attend communion regularly.  I need to
personally thank him for helping us to worship together as a family.


!=”We have rather extensive
vocabularies for complaining and expressing anger, but we get tongue-tied when
it comes to expressing our appreciation. 
That’s because we’ve practiced the former so many more times.”
(p.61)  ‘Like anything else we need to
make a choice to practice these positive skills of thankfulness, so that they
will become a good habit.


!=All the concepts are
inter-connected.  Practicing thankfulness
regularly leads to a good habit which is equal to a positive attitude, which
brings meaning to life and makes our lives more enjoyable!  Remember “Being thankful and saying thanks
are two habits…necessary to succeed in life.” (p.62)


Chapter 8


,=Pausing to reflect…not sure
that I agree with “Schweitzer’s philosophy-his deep respect-is the foundation
upon which truly good people build their lives.” (p.66)  I consider myself a good person (most of the
time), but I pray daily that my foundation will continue to be built on my
faith.


,=Pausing to reflect…not sure
that I agree with Earl Nightingale’s quote on p. 73.  I do not think that my rewards in my earthly
life will always be in exact proportion to the amount of consideration I show
toward others.


?=The four ways mentioned to show
respect:  manners, language, honoring the
rules, and appreciating differences are all outward words and actions.  My inner question relates to showing these
things while harboring different inner thoughts and feelings.  Certainly this is not respect, correct?


?=How do we get society to be
less self-centered, thereby increasing (rather than deteriorating)
respect?  Is it only my own responsibility
to think, make choices, and act deliberately? 
Is there a higher level of responsibility too?  Model, Guided Practice, Encourage, Praise…


!=”We say something about
ourselves every time we open our mouths.” (p.68)  ‘or write. 
How true!  I loved all of the
Biblical basis.


!=”Most of the time when we
criticize other people, it’s because they do things differently from we do.”
(p.72)  Judging is an area that I
continue to struggle with.  I would like to
take Ben Franklin’s vow. (p.72)


Chapter 9


,=’Never thought of  “seeing what we can get away with” as a
sport. (p.77)


?=Is Dr. Thomas Hora’s quote on
p. 83 referring to a religious system of values?


!=My question from Chapter 8 was
answered regarding the integrity and peace of mind discussion on p. 75.


!=”Honesty is a choice.  When we make that choice, not in a particular
set of circumstances, but as a way of
life
, we begin to understand what it means to be an authentic person.”  ”We need to be honest, not because of what might happen to us when we’re not, but because of
what happens inside of us when we are
.” (Both on p.83)  I attempt to make that choice not only
related to earthly consequences, but also heavenly ones.


 


 


Chapter 10


,=The example of Tim Hansel’s
special talents:  emphasizing what they
did right or what they could do, greeting, praising, encouraging, etc. (p.86)
is something we educators strive to do for our students on a daily basis.  It should also be something I strive to do
more of with my co-workers, family members, neighbors, etc.


?=When I was reading the “What’s
Good About Me” example activity on pp.89-90, I tried to put myself in the hot
seat.  I know I would feel very
uncomfortable sharing personal positives for about two minutes.  I’m asking myself, why?  I do think it is because I am so used to
being critical.  I need to realize and
take note of some of my good attributes more often.


!=”...one of those unique
situations in which everybody wins because it’s impossible to make another
person feel good without doing the same to yourself.” (p.88)  Again, how true!


Chapter 11


,=Beware of the EFWIC (Excuses
For Why I Can’t) disease. (p.95)  I’m
sure I have it.  Simple examples
include:  We can’t do that.  It costs too much…we have little kids, we’re
saving for our kids’ education, our kids are in college, we’re saving for
retirement.  If I knew I was going to die
and no financial responsibilities were a burden for anyone I was leaving
behind, what would I use my life to do? 
I’m not referring to lavish dinners, frivolous trips, etc.  I’m referring to mission work…travel with a
purpose.


?=We don’t think in words; we
think in pictures. (p.98)  Should I spend
more time picturing success?


!=Motivation’s
origin=motive=”that within the individual which causes him or her to act.”
(p.93)  I agree one person cannot
motivate another and I believe one person can help another stay motivated.
(pp.91-92)  This is the basic premise
behind “patients” needing to hit rock bottom prior to being able to accept help,
etc.  I never thought of Lombardi’s “the
will to win is everything” pep talks as temporary stimulation. (p.92)  I guess I was hoping it would retrain the
players’ brains by encouragement and success, creating a positive cycle.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


Chapter 12 Goals=Dreams with
Deadlines


,=”The goals we set and the depth
of our motivation will determine, more than anything else, what we make of our
lives.” (p.100)  That quote made me
reflect on a chance encounter I had with a former HS graduate last summer
(during a Heid’s sponsored music concert at Houdini Plaza).  We hadn’t run into each other in years.  His first question was, “Well, what have you
done with your life?”  I answered with what
I thought he was referring to:  married,
have kids, work as a special education teacher, etc.  To which he clarified, “How have you made a
difference in this world?”  Since that
chat, I have been more deliberate in regards to goal setting.


?=pp.104-106 list Hal’s 4
suggestions:  Goal vs. Wish, Written
& Specific, Categorized & Balanced, and Review & Revise.  It made me connect professionally (e.g. SLOs,
small cells, Professional Growth).  It
made me question whether we’re still working toward the balance component in
the KASD….and the definite need to review and revise.  As a special educator, I felt that students
on my caseload actually received less teacher literacy contact time, in most
cases, than in previous years.


!=I whole heartedly agree that
goal setting should be taught more in school. (p.101)  In Kimberly, some current regular education
examples include:  students’
self-reflections prior to parent-teacher conferences, in Phy. Ed., and in
Health.  At this time, some special
education examples include: 
organizational skills, behavioral skills, and social skills.  These are outside of the regular education
curriculum, but should they be?!


Chapter 13


,=In general I’m “good” at hard
work…at school, with my extended family, with my own family, etc.  I need to remember to “take a break from work
in order to maintain the balance”. (p.113)


?=I’m still questioning the
findings of the Gallups and Mr. Proctor. 
They agreed that “people who are truly successful are the ones who most deserve it.” (pp.111-112)  My question relates to the fact that the
people interviewed were all successful and in Who’s Who in America.  Don’t you think there are people out there
who have thought through things, set goals, and worked hard who are not
“successes” according to earth’s standards? 


!=”Work and fun are not exclusive
of each other.” (p.113)


!”Work hard, but have fun doing
it.” (p.114)  In general, my job is
lonely.  I am not part of a regular
education team, nor am I part of the “specials”’ team.  I am a part of a special education team.  At the intermediate level that team is
composed of two others:  a CD teacher who
is located on the elementary side of the building and another resource teacher
right next door to my room.  The three of
us have no common planning times.  The
fun I have at work mainly comes from my interactions with “my” special
education students.


 


 


 


 


 


Chapter 14


,=Some of the most mature
students I have had the pleasure to work with know all too well that
self-discipline “means being willing to give up some temporary enjoyment in
order to work at something that has a more lasting reward.” (p.117)  This year I have a male student on my
caseload who is working towards his 2nd Black Belt.  I have a female student who has Glaucoma who
is learning Braille.  The boy is not
involved in other sports and hasn’t worn shorts in five years due to many leg
bruises.  The still-sighted girl gives up
her lunch recesses in order to learn a skill that she may or may not ever
need.  They both are awesome examples and
role models for all of us.


?=How do educators best deal with
families who are living in the instant gratification world?  I have a lot of families on my caseload who
do not highly value education.  This
becomes an area of conflict concerning honesty and responsibility.


!=Ben Franklin’s quote regarding
“no gain without pain” is obviously familiar. 
I really liked Hal Urban’s addition of “Self-discipline puts us in
charge of both the pain and the gain.” (p.117)


!=I’d like to read Scott Peck’s
book entitled The Road Less Traveled. 
I agree that “Life is difficult.” 
I like his way of telling us to schedule the pain; don’t avoid it.
(p.118)  I practiced these words with big
endeavors like undergraduate studies, earning my Masters Degree, carrying and
delivering our children, etc.  I think
it’s important to remember this when making even small choices and their
corresponding necessary “give ups”.  


Chapter 15


,=Hmm…my most
productive time (p.130) used to be at night. 
‘Getting older, body changes, Restless Leg Syndrome, have to take
medicine, medicine makes me tired…I need to pause and reflect on when my most
productive time is now.


,=Again, lots
of Biblical references to effective use of time (Ecclesiastes p.127 &
Ephesians p.131).  I am always greatly
appreciative how the Bible stands the test of time.


?=not really a question…want to
read Covey’s First Things First. 
“…we get busier and busier doing ‘good’ things and never even stop to
ask ourselves if what we’re doing really matters most.” (p.124)


!=We all have the time we
need.  Time is our most valuable
resource. (p.125)  “Time hasn’t
changed.  We have.” (p.127)  We “want to do too much”. (p.126)  I am one of those people. 


!=”Successful people don’t find
time; they make time. (p.131) It’s deliberate. 
The keys to mastering time are “easy to understand but more difficult to
apply if it involves changing habits”. (p.128) 
Like I said, I need to keep working on this area…especially for balance.


!=My Aunt Avis’s funeral had a
message about today is the present…today is a present…that present is the gift
of time.  It impacted me so much that I
went out that same day and bought my family a magnet for our fridge that reads,
“Each day comes bearing its own gifts, untie the ribbons.”  It remains a permanent fixture in our
kitchen.  “Time is life.” (p.124)


I read and reread Chapter 15.


 


Chapter 16


,=I personally believe in what
Bill Honig said on p. 135:  “the best way
to enhance a student’s self-esteem is to give him the tools that he can use to
better his life” & “self-esteem will take care of itself if we can help our
students learn the skills and attitudes they need to be successful”.  Yet I have a lot of school families seeking
outside resources to boost their son/daughter’s self-esteem (e.g. Learning
Rx).  That was the identified area where
growth was to be targeted.  Don’t get me
wrong.  I am all in favor of building
skills such as reading, math facts, organizational skills, study skills,
etc.  I am saddened, however, that some
parents are falling prey to false promises. 


?=Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote on
p.136 was posted on Woodland’s guidance easel. 
I reread, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” over
and over.  Why do I let people in higher
up positions make me feel inferior?


!=”There is a time in our lives
when both our self-image and our self-esteem are determined by other
people.  When we’re small children,…”  “Good messages, good self-image.  Bad messages, bad self-image. “  “We tend to become what we’re told about
ourselves.” (p.136)  Without going into a
lot of detail, I was raised in a family where my father was an active mean and
violent alcoholic. 


“Whether we were treated rightly
or wrongly as children, our self-esteem is now our responsibility.”  “We have to do things that make us feel good
about ourselves even without the praise.”  
“Other people can do a lot of things to make us feel good.  But, ultimately, how we feel about ourselves
is the direct result of what we do
and what we think.  Real self-esteem is respect that we have to
earn from ourselves.” (p. 137)  From my
teen years on I tried so hard to get good grades, but for all of the wrong reasons.  I wasn’t interested in learning as much as I
was bidding for my teacher’s positive attention.  ‘Maybe there was even a glimmer of hope that
my mother would take notice.  It wasn’t
until the last year of college required for my undergraduate degree that I
finally started living and learning for me and my future.  I still catch myself returning to old habits
from time to time.


“Hard work and successful careers
aren’t enough.” (p.137)  This hit home to
me…just look at my pending question from Chapter 16.


!=The fourth area of life that
requires consistency in order to have healthy self-esteem is “Be Positive”.
(pp.138-139)  ”It’s healthy to develop a
good attitude about ourselves.  Remember,
attitude is a choice-the most important one you’ll ever make.” (p.139) I know
this down deep.  I practice this with my
actions.  It is with my own self-talk
that I still have issues.  My husband is
“sure of himself”.  He always says things
like, “Don’t worry.  If I lose my job,
I’ll find another one soon enough.” 
Sadly, I mentally label that as over-confident, rather than
self-assured.


Me thinks me needs to reread
Chapter 16 too.


 


 


 


 


 


Chapter 17


,=Life is a Balancing Act:  physical, mental, and spiritual.  “The problem today is that too many people try
to live one- or two-dimensional lives in a three-dimensional world.
(pp.141-142)  I need to spend more time
on the physical aspect.


,=I liked the analogy of my body
to only one car per lifetime. (p.143)


?=Hal Urban became a Christian
when he was 39. (p.146)  He states on
p.147 that he “hopes to be there (heaven) someday.”  I’ve been taught that if I believe in Jesus
Christ as my Lord and Savior that heaven is my home.  Why does Hal hope, instead of know?  God made a promise and He always keeps his
promises.


!=”We’re discovering that no
matter how great our technology is, it can’t produce either happiness or
fulfillment.” (p.142)  How true!


!=”While keeping the body in good
condition is important, how it looks in comparison to other bodies is not important.”  & “Being concerned about how other bodies
look and function doesn’t improve the quality of our lives.  Taking good care of our own body does.” (Both
on p.143)  I need to remember these when
working on the physical component.


!=The example given on p.145
regarding “beginning every day on a positive note”, “setting aside time each
morning to read something that’s uplifting and thought-provoking”, “focusing on
what’s good about life but also screening out a lot of the negatives” was reaffirming.  I set a small goal in the last class of
waking up earlier and reading the Gospels in a Year email and Fred emails on
Tuesday mornings.  It has been a positive
change in my life.  I want to expand on
my new good habit.


Chapter 18


,=Reading biographies:  all about famous people who rose above
defeat, disappointment, failures, etc. (p.152) =practical application for
school.  We can study character traits,
themes, etc.  Never thought of
biographies as “successful failures” (p.156) or “filling us with hope” (p.156).


!!!=lots of positive quotes
regarding failure:


Benjamin Barber’s learner vs.
nonlearner (p.153)


“Failure is one of life’s
greatest teachers.  That is, it can be if we choose to learn from it
rather than be crushed by it.” (p.153)


“Failure teaches us to correct
our course of action.  It forces us to
look at what we’re doing and gives us the opportunity to try a new direction.”
(p.153)


Dr. Keith Reemstma’s “I never
think of what I do as a failure.  It’s
just an incomplete result.” (p.155)


“Not risking failure is the worst
failure of all.” (p.155)


H. Stanley Judd’s “If you’re not
failing you’re not growing.”


*I like Hal Urban need to
remember “to stop pounding on myself for mistakes of the past, and focus
instead on what I learned from them.” (p.154)


Chapter 19


,=Hmm…”While we live in a complex
world, it doesn’t mean we have to lead complicated lives.” (p.157)  I shouldn’t ignore life’s simplicities.


?=When studying Hal Urban’s
What’s Essential list on p. 159, I wondered where are faith and forgiveness?


!=In The Little Prince,
written by Antoine De Saint-Exupery, ”It is only with the heart that one sees
rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (p.157)  I need to keep in mind that God knows my
intentions regardless of good works.


Chapter 20


,=I was raised with the simple
“we should be” (good) reason. (p.162) 
“We were told to obey the rules, be polite, and show respect for the
rights and property of others.  We weren’t
given a choice, and it wasn’t even debatable.” (p.162)  One of my older siblings got married and had
children.  That household never used the
word “No” with their children.  Rather,
they discussed rules with their young children and empowered them by letting
them come up with possible choices and then selecting one that was to their
liking (not necessarily appropriate or acceptable).  I know there are different parenting styles,
but I’m reflecting on whether or not those now grown children and their children
are the parents and students who we see with deteriorated manners, respect,
values, etc.


?=I agree that being good is an
essential ingredient of emotional and spiritual health. (p.162)  I wonder whether praying for the Holy Spirit
to bring you the Fruits of the Spirit is the most essential.


!=I have a lot of work ahead of
me.  I need to take time to set goals
(dreams with deadlines), reflect, and revise for the benefit of me, hopefully
with a bonus for the rest of those whom I touch somehow.

Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/Journaling -

Life's Greatest Lessons : Online Book Reflection/Journaling -: Please post 5 total entries regarding our chapter readings by clicking on post a coment below . Entires can be a ? (somehting you questioned...